Shock Heard Round the World
“Renegade X-Ray, Renegade X-Ray this is OP 6, radio check over.” Sounded the squawk box.
“OP6, this is Renegade X-ray, I read you Lima Charlie, How me over?” I responded.
“Read you Lima Charlie X-ray, OP6 out”
I set down the hand mic to the radio and jotted down my notes that all 13 Observation Points had good comms on their hourly radio check.
It was October 15th, 2005 and the 1-128th INF Battalion was on the verge of wrapping up their 18 month tour. For the last 12 months FOB O’Ryan had been our home. We were 8 miles south of LSA Anaconda and the Balad Airbase. We were 600 National Guard soldiers that trained for combat for 6 months in Camp Shelby, MS, Fort Irwin, CA, and Camp Virginia, Kuwait. The majority of us were from Wisconsin, but there was a handful of Minnesotans and a few Michiganders mixed in amongst our ranks. But that didn’t matter, over the last 18 months we had all become brothers.
However, late that night there were a few of us staying up late to watch the Battle for the Paul Bunyan Axe. Besides Packers Bears, this is one of the most important football games for Wisconsinites. We had somehow managed to get a satellite dish setup on the top of our bunker that pulled in The Armed Forces Network (AFN). We had a big glass tube of a TV that looked straight out of the early 90s. We didn’t care though, we were stoked that with the noon kickoff time CST we would be watching it at 2000 hours in Iraq. Helluva way to end your day in a warzone.
I had just finished up my hourly radio checks at 2200 as the 3rd quarter was winding down. The game had been exciting, some good back and forth; Lawrence Maroney had been dominate for the Gophers, both special teams had made some mistakes, and each defense had made some opportunistic plays. It was 27-17, after a 17 point 3rd quarter from the Gophers, it seemed like were starting to take control.
My Commanding Officer, we’ll change his name for his protection, Captain Fuckingham, was a Minnesota grad and been talking trash all game. Besides the CO and myself, the other viewers were SPC Tidus, another Minnesotan who was a Vikings fan and not much of a college football fan, was there for the trash talking, First Sergeant Ace was there with his banana hands and brick shithouse of a body to make fun of anyone that was afraid of contact, and LT Mann who wasn’t much of a sports fan was there to socialize and enjoy the rivalry.
The Gophers first possession of the 4th quarter is one that made me extremely nervous. Down 27-17 and unable to stop Maroney all day felt like a dangerous spot to be in. However, The Badger D faced three straight rushes by Maroney and with a stacked box forced a 3 and out. On the punt, return man Brandon Williams picked up 18 yards setting up the Badgers 1st and 10, just inside of Minnesota territory. After a Play Action Pass connection from Stocco to Orr for 14 yards, it was three straight rushes by Brian Calhoun that put the Badgers in the endzone. 27-24 Gophers still leading.
Minnesota responded with a 19 play 80 yard drive that nearly took 8 minutes off the clock. They converted on two 3rd downs and on two agonizing 4th downs to keep the drive alive. Just before the second 4th down conversion ESPN announcer Chris Spielman said, “To me this is the ballgame, if Coach Mason decides to go for it, that pretty much hammers Wisconsin.” With every first down picked up the the CO let me know, “BADGERS SUCK!” “FUCK BUCKY!” “Looks like you have Wiscy D.” The insults kept coming, the moronic laughs kept getting louder. Everyone sat silently as the CO slung his words around. I was starting to feel defeated. First Sergeant had made it clear at times that he didn’t care much for the CO, but just sat their shaking his head every time Captain Fuckingham spoke.
It was 34-24 with just over three minutes left in the game. Badgers came out and ran it on first down, the CO laughed, they went no huddle Stocco scrambled and only picked up a yard, the CO laughed louder while staring directly at me. “Still a few minutes left, sir.” I reminded him.
“Yeah too bad all you guys are good at is running the ball.” He smartly responded.
3rd and 3, Stocco drops back looks and fires down field to find Brandon Williams for 25 yards! “Alright, alright, there we go, there we go.” I muttered with a bit of hope. A couple plays later Badgers called a timeout with 2:22 left on the clock. They were facing a 3rd and 5 from the Minnesota 35; Stocco took the snap surveyed the field and found Brandon Williams for 14 yards and another first down. Thankfully in college ball the clock stops as the first down chains get reset. The Badgers quickly huddle, they get to the line, Stocco exams the D, the ball is snapped and just like a shampoo bottle, it was wash, rinse, repeat, Stocco to Brandon Williams across the middle for 21 yards and a Touchdown!
I took a deep breath and leaned back in my chair as the K put the EXP attempt through the uprights. Badgers still down 34-31, but we’re only a FG away from tying it.
“Oh, Whatever” the CO cried, “a little too late, only a couple minutes left!”
“That’s enough time to get an onside kick and either win or tie the game, sir.” I tried saying my best while still respecting his rank.
We sat for a moment quietly and watched the Badgers lineup in their onside kickoff formation.
Since there had been a personal foul on the TD the Badgers were kicking off from the 50 yard line. Punter Kenneth Debauche bounced a wild onside kick towards the Gophers hands team. It squirted through them it was live, it’s a race to the ball, but Maroney who was behind the hands team was there to jump on it at the 7 yard line.
“Oh my gosh!” I gasped “that was so close.” I exhaled with most of my hope disappearing.
“Oh yeah!” celebrated the CO, with his hands in the air in celebration. “Time to run the clock out.”
2:06 left in the game, I was expecting the Gophers’ Lawrence Maroney to break a couple of runs for a first down to kill the clock. We definitely got three Maroney runs in a row: 3 yards, 4 yards, 2 yards.
“Whew, fourth down!” I exhaled loudly, “So you’re telling me there’s a chance.” I rejoiced with my best Jim Carrey impersonation.
“ Come on and just go for it you wusses!” cried the CO. '“Whatever just punt it away and get this over with already.” Captain Fuckingham was getting quite irritated and worried. It was amusing, 1SGT was getting a grin on his face watching him squirm.
What came next will live forever in Badger lore.
Minnesota sent their punt team out to the field. Brandon Williams was back for the return, he’s a dangerous return man I was thinking to myself. With only 38 seconds left everyone got quiet in the bunker and we all zoned in on the next play.
Mark Jones was on the call for ESPN that day, “Here’s the punt coming from Kucek, oh he fumbled it! It’s blocked, unbelievably! Wisconsin with a chance to pounce! Who’s got it?! Touchdown Badgers! Unbelievable. Simply Shocking!”
I stood up quickly but quietly raised my hands in the air, savoring the moment.
“Are you f*ck*ng kidding me!” screamed the CO, “You’ve got to be f*ck*ng kidding me! Ahhhhh!” The CO stood up so fast his chair fell over, the nerf football he had holding onto all game was flung across the room and bounced off the wall. “God Damn Goofers!” The CO proceeded to grab the printer on his desk and hump it in frustration. “Way to fuck the game punter!”
We sat back watching the Commander’s tantrum.
He finished with his hip thrusting, we bent down and ripped off his shower shoes (flip flops) and chucked them against the door, he then flung the door open, and walked into the hot desert night. “FUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHK”
We could hear his rant from inside the bunker, we started laughing as soon as the door closed behind him.
“What a dumbass” muttered the 1SGT as we wandered off to his room.
The door flung back open, the CO’s bare feet slapping against the concrete floor. “I need a cigarette.” he stated. He came back to his desk and in an agitated manner pulled a cigarette out of his pack and stood there for a moment to watch the remaining seconds tick off the game clock. “Bullshit” he muttered to himself as he tried putting his shower shoes back on. “Ugh! My flippy floppy” he whined noticing one of them was now busted. He got one flip flop on and left the broken one, walking outside with a flip, slap, flip, slap, flip slap.
“Well that was awesome.” I stated and sat down. The few soldiers still left all started migrating towards their bunks to call it a night. I on the other hand had hours of radio watch left.
“Renegade X-Ray, Renegade X-Ray, this is OP 3.” squawked the radio.
“OP3, this is Renegade X-Ray” I responded.
“Renegade X-Ray, this is OP3, we have a unidentified pick-up slowly heading down the MSR from the West heading in our direction, over”
And just like that, my escape from my reality was over, but it was an escape that I will always remember.
Fun Facts of the Game
All-Time Badger and Cleveland Browns great LT Joe Thomas was a junior for this game.
Lawrence Maroney and Gary Russell had a combined 407 rushing yards and 3 TDs
Badger WR Brandon Williams had 7 catches for 121 yards and a TD.
This was Barry Alvarez’s final season as Badgers Head Coach before becoming the AD, Paul Chryst was the OC and Bret Bielema was the DC.
This was the 115th meeting all time between the two teams, before the game Minnesota led the series 59-47-8…. present day now the series is in the favor of Wisconsin 62-61-8.
